Things We Didn't Talk About When I Was a Girl

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Postscript summary

In this highly personal investigation into the trauma of sexual violence, Jeannie Vanasco chronicles her interactions with a former friend who raped her fourteen years previously. Interviewing him over the phone, by email and in person, she explores how his actions impacted both their lives, challenges common myths about victimhood and deconstructs the language surrounding sexual assault.

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Why would a good person commit a terrible act?

Fifteen years ago, Jeannie's relationship with a close friend ended in rape. With the rise of the #MeToo movement, recurring nightmares of the event that plagued her as a girl have returned. To process her conflicted feelings of betrayal and take back control, she resolves to face her trauma head-on by interviewing her rapist.

Through their transcribed conversations and discussions with her closest friends, Jeannie's compelling memoir explores how the incident impacted both of their lives, while examining the culture and language surrounding sexual assault and rape. Things We Didn't Talk About When I Was a Girl is a necessary contribution to the wider conversation around sexual violence from a brave, new voice.

***PRAISE FOR THINGS WE DIDN'T TALK ABOUT WHEN I WAS A GIRL***

A Time magazine 'The 42 Most Anticipated Books of Fall 2019'

A Bustle 'The 20 Best New Books for Fall 2019'

A Bustle '10 New #MeToo Movement Books to Read in Fall 2019'

An Esquire 'Best Fall Books of 2019': 'Perhaps the most important book of the season.'

A Nylon '34 Books You'll Want to Read This Fall': 'Thought-provoking, unmooring and haunting.'

A Domino 'Best Fall Books of 2019': 'A compelling, nuanced look at trauma and survival.'

A NetGalley UK's Top Ten Books for October

'Brave and compelling... Vanasco muddles through the silt of her thoughts to create a language for something we don't talk about.' The Paris Review, staff pick

'With deep self-consciousness, courage, and nuance, the author reveals the inner universe of her survivorship... An extraordinarily brave work of self- and cultural reflection.' Kirkus Reviews, starred review

'A powerful memoir... a painful reminder of the ugly ways some men treat women, and Vanasco's nuanced story will resonate with those who've endured sexual inappropriateness in any form.' Publishers Weekly

'Vanasco has written exactly the book we need right now. I wish everyone would read it.' Melissa Febos, author of Abandon Me

'A gorgeous, harrowing, heartbreaking book. Vanasco is whip-smart and tender, open and ruthless.' Carmen Maria Machado, author of Her Body and Other Parties

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